Experiencing Life vs. Getting Through It

All right, welcome back to Everyday Leader podcast. Shannon here with Conrad. We’re going to start talking about something that might sound like how to get through these times, but our offer is really something quite different. Conrad mentioned this earlier: the reframe on getting through life is really, how do we experience it? What does it take to experience life versus get through life? And first, what is the outcome of that? What do we know to be possible when we make that choice?

The distinction is an active, engaged approach: experiencing, creating from life, creating with life, versus a passive, ridership approach of getting through something. I was at a celebration of life recently, and it was awesome to witness the different ways people showed up. Some folks were hyper-vigilant, trying to control the situation. Others were passive, avoiding. And our assertion is: there’s another way. What would it be like, instead of orienting to get through, to truly experience the situation?

Something I keep coming back to when you say “drive through it” is that the behavior that often comes up is controlling. When we’re controlling, it’s because we’re attached to some outcome, some way we want others to be or behave. There’s something about that energy that just isn’t creative. The antidote to controlling is curiosity, witnessing.

I too can find myself in that land of controlling, or getting through by avoiding. Both showed up at that event. We’re not making that wrong or bad — just witnessing it. Our invitation is: come back to presence and ask, what do I want to experience here? What am I curious about? How can I create from this chaos? Instead of “I’ve got to get through this meeting” — what if it’s “what do I need to experience here?”

And there’s something underneath that: how do I want to be with my discomfort? What do I need to proactively, responsibly, healthfully navigate it? When I’m uncomfortable or feel distress, how am I going to take care of that?

You’re going deeper into the human condition. We named control and avoiding as behaviors, and you’re pointing to the discomfort underneath — fear, anxiety, sadness, loneliness, or even expansive joy, which can be tough for folks too. I love your pointing us to: what’s it like to experience that within me, and still show up and lead?

Yes, still show up and lead, in service of the experience I want to have. Being present, celebrating, connecting, being in relationship with people.

The experience you want to have, as well as the experience you want to have with others. And even be a part of creating. That’s the radical shift — I get to be a part of this. I get to co-create.

So the question for everyone listening: where in your life, in the next couple of days, do you want to be in the experience? Pick something on your plate and practice really being in that experience — and notice what it takes and what it’s like for you.

Beautiful. We are here learning and growing together as leaders, and grateful for hearing from you. We’re off to go experience our next thing — we’ll be with you next time.

Be well.