Episode 50: How Do You Recognize a Leadership Moment?

Welcome back to Everyday Leader. Shannon here with Conrad. If you listened to our last episode, great. If you haven't, you're right where you need to be, but you might want to go back because we'll reference it. Conrad, can you give us a rundown of the last episode?

We offered examples of leadership lessons happening in our world every day through routine activities. There is formal leadership training, skills and talents we learn in a formal way. We're inviting people to notice how lessons are shared just by showing up in the world.

We're constantly given opportunities in our everyday lives to show up as leaders. We talk about that all the time on this podcast, sharing ideas, examples, tools, and resources. Now we're asking: in the moment when you're showing up as a leader, can you be aware of it so you register that you're learning something? When we express our leadership, there's almost always a little stretch, a little heat. There's a choice: you can leave it or step into it. Sometimes stepping in is easier than at other times. When we're aware of what's happening for us as leaders and we're in the process of learning, are we noticing that?

It's another level of responsibility. There's responsibility to show up and engage with self, others, and our world. We're also responsible for our learning and development, as well as those around us. One example last week was an airport delay caused by an air traffic control issue. Reflecting further, I got into relationship with fellow travelers. You asked whether that was natural or something I normally do. Sometimes, no. That called me to ask what was different. There was a lot of emotional range in the gate area and on the plane. I chose to step in and take responsibility, in my own way, for what I could influence for myself and others. There were things that needed to be expressed. That was a choice.

How did you know there were things that needed to be expressed and something you could do to create something constructive? You could also step into that energy and escalate everything. By the way, if I were there, I'd be in the cushiest seat at the gate watching the next episode of my show. How did this come to be? You make it sound so easy.

By no means do I want it to sound easy. You and I lead groups and invite them into this energy. First was being an observer. As a coach, leader, and human, how do I zoom out and observe the broader situation? By practice, I was looking around. That's the first piece I want to remind us of: being the observer. Watching your latest episode is a different focus; I'm not making it wrong. My focus was broad. There was a choice point. I could join in the frustration or vent, reactive choices I've made before. Or I could ask what might be different if I were curious and got into conversation. It started with one person. They were going on an anniversary trip they'd looked forward to for a long time and were devastated by the possibility of not making it. That led to other conversations. It wasn't easy, and I didn't shift the entire D5 gate area into singing, clapping, and rejoicing. There were a few small relationship moments. That's the leadership lesson. After talking it through, it's: observe, choose, get into relationship, and listen.

I'm wondering whether listeners are asking where this is leadership and not just being a good person who cares about others. That's part of everyday leadership: what it looks and feels like when we get into relationship. The other piece is leading through something, taking responsibility for some of the energy and leading it. What was the impact when this person could share with you and feel heard and seen, especially at an airport gate where that can be so rare?

I think it defused or softened things and normalized that this is a human experience we're going through together. This too shall pass. You don't lead with that when someone is in a reactive state, but you can hold that this is a blip in time and we're all here together. I think the impact was some expression of energy that got to move. When energy gets to move, you can create more from it. When it's stuck, it's harder to create. When we allow it to move, even if it's wonky, there's an opportunity to create something.

That's pretty cool.

That was at D5, RDU Airport. I don't even remember the day, sometime in August.

Takeaway: observe, make a choice, and use these skills. Really listen, pay attention, take responsibility. What's your big takeaway from having done that? Are you going to start doing this professionally, just showing up at airports?

No! I love your question about whether this is natural. It's calling me to do that in more spaces where it might not be expected, or where we're expected to be isolated. First, the observation part: looking at what's going on, the bigger picture. It's a very important skill.

It sounds like you followed a sense that you cared about what people were experiencing at that time, and followed that thread in a meaningful, constructive way.

Absolutely. Good for now.

Good for now. Until next week, we're going to keep talking about these leadership lessons. We'll see you then. Be well.