What Perspective is Right in this Moment?

Welcome back to Everyday Leader. Conrad here with Shannon. Something that has been coming up fresh for me -- both from recent training and in work with clients -- is the question of perspective. As leaders, we are always in one. The question is: is the perspective you are holding right now actually in service of what you want, the relationship you are in, the work you are up to?

And I want to make something clear before we go further: this is not about spiritual bypassing, or about telling someone to just change their attitude. Perspective work is more nuanced than that. When we hold a perspective, our actions align around it, our feelings align around it -- whether we are conscious of that or not. We collect evidence to support the way we see things, and eventually it becomes the way things are. That is why it matters. And that is why it deserves care, not just a quick swap.

I had a client recently who came in saying: my sister is the worst. And my first move was to get curious -- it sounds like we are talking about your relationship with your sister. That simple reframe, naming it as a relationship rather than a verdict, opened a door. Not to tell her she was wrong, but to ask: is this perspective in service of the relationship you actually want with your sister?

That is the entry point. Not changing the circumstance -- but noticing that how I am looking at this is something I have some choice and agency over. And the process matters: name the current perspective clearly, spend real time with it, explore other possible ways of seeing before ever inviting a shift.

Some perspectives have deep roots -- they were formed for safety, security, survival. Those deserve time and care before any shift is invited. But some are low-stakes and can move quickly. I held a perspective for years that a great day required getting up early and moving fast. It came from the military, from my family of origin. It served me well for a long time -- until it did not. When I finally pulled it apart, I saw the distinction between the activities and the result, and I could choose differently. My perspective on mornings now: I create the day.

I love that example. And it points to something useful: you can practice perspective shifting on small things first. The post office. Emptying the dishwasher. Calling someone you dread calling. One of my mentors framed it as the shift from "have to" to "get to" -- and it sounds simple, but the energy is completely different. I get to empty the dishwasher, in service of my family, my home, my time. That shift is available in a millisecond if the stakes are low. When the stakes are higher, it takes longer -- and that is OK.

The signal that perspective work is needed: any time you notice yourself not wanting to do something, or feeling stuck in a relationship or a situation, ask: what is the perspective I am holding here right now? Name it. Then ask: is this the perspective I want to hold? From there, you have a choice.

And the other gift of this work: it makes you more curious about other people's perspectives. When you know that you are always in one, and that yours is shaped by your history and your context, it becomes easier to wonder where someone else's is coming from -- rather than just reacting to it. That is one of the most humanizing things a leader can do.

We are always in a perspective. Others are always in one too. The invitation as you move through the weeks ahead: what is the perspective I am holding on this -- whatever this is? And is it the one I want?

Name it. Claim it. And see what happens from there. Until next time.